Right now I am having probably the toughest time I've had since my surgery. The urge to eat and not exercise is ALMOST overwhelming. We are going through some very difficult situations right now and they are are several different fronts. It is very scary not to be in a regular routine with my life and my food. It totally freaks me out! I am also scared by the fact that I really haven't felt like running. I did run tonight and it was a fantastic run! I am so happy to have had a good run. So, I am trying to take it one day at a time and to keep focused on doing what I have been doing so far. Does the food demon ever completely go away? I'm thinking it is always waiting for the opportunity to rear it's ugly head.

Since I've been working out regulary with my trainer I've been doing modified push-ups (on my knees). Last night I did 5 full push-ups! I was so excited, I've never done a full push-up in my life. My form wasn't fanstastic, but I did them and I will continue to get stronger and be able to do more and do them better! One of my goals has been to do full push-ups!! It is so exciting to see the improvements in my strength.

I have a problem with all or nothing thinking - it is probably one of the big reasons I gained as much weight as I did - I was either on a diet or eating all out! Recently somebody posted on the ObesityHelp exercise board that she finished her Saturday long run on Sunday. The goal was to get all the miles in. I've read about splitting up runs between the morning and evening as a strategy also. Of course, I've never applied that concept to myself, either I got my run in or I didn't. After reading this post, something clicked for me and I've applied it the last couple of times I've been to the gym. I wanted to run 4 miles, but can't get to the gym earlier enough to get all 4 in before my training session. So, the lightbulb went off and I realized I could go back after the session and finish my run!

So, it is a bit of a contrast but I've have had moments of laziness and thanfulness lately when it comes to exercise.

Sometimes I think it would be so nice to just sit on the couch and relax. At times I really don't want to make the effort to be active and would like to go back to my old inactive self. Of course, I don't want the consequences of what goes with the lifestyle, so I keep up my exercise!:)

Yesterday, I did a 6 mile run in Central Park. It was a beautiful evening here and I was so grateful to be able to get out and run. It was one of the runs where I was extra aware of how thankful I am to have lost all weight and to be able to get out and enjoy a run on a beautiful night. So, it is this mind set that I try to keep rather than the one that would like to be lazy.

Three years ago, on July 26, 2005, I did my first race, the Corporate Challenge. It is a 3.5 mile race and I was thrilled to finish in 52 minutes (my goal was 55 minutes). Today I did the same race and finished in 36:30, which is a 10:26 pace. This is a PR for me - my fastest race to date!! I guess all the sweat and training has paid off. It really means a lot to be able to go to an event like this with my co-workers and to be able to run at a respectable pace.

Today I did the NYC 1/2 marathon. I can't believe this was my 7th half marathon. We had to be at Central Park this morning by 6:30 for a 7:00 start. The weather started out a little iffy and we had a little rain, but it cleared in time for the race and left us with a lovely humid day. The race consisted of a loop around Central Park, then down 7th Ave, across 42nd Street and down the West Side Highway to Battery Park. It was a great route! I got teary eyed going down 7th Ave into Times Square. I am still amazed to be out there running!

My time was 2:42:35 - definitely not in the top of my 1/2 marathon finishes. I had some issues along with way and needed to make several bathroom stops, I think they hurt my time. But I did get out there and finished and I got a great medal!

On Sunday I will be doing my 7th half marathon! I can't believe it. It is a little over 2 years, since my first half marathon and I am still amazed that I am a runner now. I am doing the NYC 1/2 marathon and it should be a lot of fun, the route starts in Central Park and then goes through Times Square and finishes in lower Manhattan. I hope it won't be too hot on Sunday, or raining for that matter! LOL, I don't ask for a lot considering it is July.